Sucker.

I'm not trying to compare, I'm not trying to make myself look miserable. I'm not trying to act emo, and I know I'm supposed to be contented. But why, why must it always be me having friendship problems, little friends, alone, these kind of things. Maybe I'm oversensitive, yes that must be it. But why, others can have such happy lives, many friends, ALWAYS surrounded by people, totally no friendship problems, highpy, smart, great, talented, everything I wish for. I know I sound like a stupid sucker, but since you already think I'm quite a sucker, what can I do.

I hate that feeling of being disliked or hated.

I hate that feeling of being left alone.

I hate that feeling of walking alone.

I hate that feeling of not fitting in.

I hate that feeling of looking at others' happy lives, and looking at mine.

I hate that feeling of comparing, but I can't help it.

I hate that feeling of being gossiped about.

I hate that feeling of being backstabbed.

I hate that feeling of being talked about behind my back.

I hate that feeling of people laughing and joking, and I'm just beside them, and they don't ever give a damn.


All because.

I felt all of that before, not just once. And the feelings suck, it's awful, it's horrible, it's terrible, it's almost beyond words. It's bad, doesn't feel good, at all. I already suck, I don't want to have sucky feelings too.


Soon, ICTATA D: